{"id":143707,"date":"2022-08-08T07:08:36","date_gmt":"2022-08-08T07:08:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/?p=143707"},"modified":"2023-09-27T19:21:37","modified_gmt":"2023-09-27T19:21:37","slug":"identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/","title":{"rendered":"Identify Your Suckers and Feed Your Fuelers"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I have never been more at peace, more productive or worked harder than right now. It\u2019s such a weird realization, after chasing that elusive work-life-balance unicorn for over twenty-five years!<\/p>\n

Raising two kids while working 8\u201310-hour days and commuting for another two hours, makes a mockery of this work-life-balance vision that we are sold as \u201cthis is what success looks like\u201d all our lives. Yet, we are bombarded with this vision of achievement throughout our careers. What a great sales job \u2013 to get you to work harder and harder, fueled by feeling less successful and closer to failure along the way.<\/p>\n

Then Covid smacked us like an oncoming speed train and derailed everything we thought we had under control. My flawed perspective of balance was placed center stage. The dictionary tells us that balance is \u201can even distribution of weight\u2026 in which different elements are equal or in correct proportions\u201d.<\/p>\n

After the initial weeks of shock and chaos that accompanied the hard lockdown, it soon become clear that managing endless remote calls stuck to a chair in your kitchen while trying to manage your household, only brought anxiety, exhaustion, and a complete sense of desperation for the familiarity of what you\u2019d lost. In that dark moment it dawns on you that you didn\u2019t lose greatness, you only lost a familiar routine. The way out was to find new emotional tools and to make selfish choices about \u201cwhat\u00a0I<\/u>\u00a0need\u201d. Being a woman (and a mother) in the male dominated world of technology where you must work harder, prove your competence, fight for your voice to be heard \u2013 it\u2019s hard to make these selfish choices. Your DNA is programmed to make sacrifices, see the bigger picture, and look after others.<\/p>\n

This period forced me \u2013 and helped me \u2013 to re-think what I really need to fuel MY batteries, give ME energy, move ME forward. It also allowed me to recognize the things and people that drain me, that suck my energy and oxygen dry. A good place to start is to ask for feedback from trusted people, at work and at home \u2013 where do they see you shine, see you disappear, see you behave without intent and focus, see you not stepping up, see you not giving up. A picture emerges that I call my \u201cFuelers\u201d and my\u201d Suckers\u201d. This realization is a growth journey in itself.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\"Estelle<\/a>
Estelle de Beer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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“Embracing chaos might be the journey you have to take to finding peace.”<\/i><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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That\u2019s the easy part. The hard part is to\u00a0do<\/em>\u00a0something about it, to make some life changes \u2013 lasting changes. To re-establish your energy balance, not work-life-balance, you instinctively want to remove things from the \u201cheavy side\u201d of the imbalance. I found this to be ineffective and a new sucker. I shifted my focus to the other side \u2013 to add things to my \u201clighter\u201d side, my fuelers. Being in hard lockdown with your partner, or family, for 24-hours a day makes this an interesting experiment which presents many challenges, but mostly wonderful opportunities for change. \u201cSmall steps, consistently,\u201d became something we tackled both jointly and individually. It started with something very simple \u2013 boardgames. Immersing yourself in something completely unknown, with new rules and structures became a wonderful outlet for our competitive natures. We acquired new skills, lost track of time, engaged in a physical challenge, improved our strategic thinking to outsmart each other and ended up having a lot of fun! This became the start of our weekend routine and soon we collected and mastered at least ten of the top global board games. My \u201clighter\u201d side started filling up, with ease. The key is not simply adding new things but maintaining consistency in what you add. I kept adding new, deliberate activities, which became new habits, which became new life choices. For me, the real achievement of balance is about the energy being in balance, not the separation of work and \u201clife\u201d.<\/p>\n

The interesting thing about feeding your fuelers is that you don\u2019t have to remove all the suckers. I still have days filled with nine back-to-back meetings, hard conversations, difficult people and situations to deal with. With a consistent library of fuelers to use, I have more perspective to approach these challenges with a calm clarity, leaving me with a feeling of control and inner peace, and less guilt about not living up to others\u2019 expectations and demands.<\/p>\n

Embracing chaos might be the journey you have to take to finding peace.<\/p>\n

The dictionary tells us that balance is \u201can even distribution of weight\u2026 in which different elements are equal or in correct proportions\u201d. Don\u2019t make the wrong assumptions of what these elements should be.<\/p>\n

This article first appeared here: Identify your Suckers and Feed your Fuelers \u2013 Aspioneer<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have never been more at peace, more productive or worked harder than right now. It\u2019s such a weird realization, after chasing that elusive work-life-balance…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4253,"featured_media":143715,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"related_posts":[],"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[19013],"tags":[5596342,5598201,5597347,5598186,5598202],"series":[],"sapn-display":[5598742,5598740,45149,279685],"sapn-type":[45018],"class_list":["post-143707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-corporate","tag-covid-19","tag-estelle-de-beer","tag-life-at-sap","tag-new-normal","tag-work-life-balance","sapn-display-feature-hero","sapn-display-feature-spotlight","sapn-display-homepage-hero","sapn-display-hero","sapn-type-feature"],"yoast_head":"\nIdentify Your Suckers and Feed Your Fuelers - 51风流Africa News Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Embracing chaos might be the journey you have to take to finding peace.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Identify Your Suckers and Feed Your Fuelers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Embracing chaos might be the journey you have to take to finding peace.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"51风流Africa News Center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-08-08T07:08:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-09-27T19:21:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/files\/2022\/08\/08\/293202_GettyImages-1362980649_medium_jpg.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Estelle de Beer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Estelle de Beer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Estelle de Beer\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/#\/schema\/person\/3be4afb63844968d0b80eba3ba787327\"},\"headline\":\"Identify Your Suckers and Feed Your Fuelers\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-08-08T07:08:36+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-09-27T19:21:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/\"},\"wordCount\":804,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/files\/2022\/08\/08\/293202_GettyImages-1362980649_medium_jpg.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"COVID-19\",\"Estelle de Beer\",\"Life at SAP\",\"New Normal\",\"work-life balance\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Corporate\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/news.sap.com\/africa\/2022\/08\/identify-your-suckers-and-feed-your-fuelers\/\",\"name\":\"Identify Your Suckers and Feed Your Fuelers - 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